My rant against the television serials that show nonsense in the name of entertainment

Do you know what is common between Pehredar Piya Ki, Ishqbaaz, Nagin, Sasural Simar Ka and the likes of it? They all are demeaning the Intelligence and emotional quotients of their audience. I know that’s a very strong statement but let’s face it all these soaps are never ending; they revolve around the standard story of love, deceit and scheming relatives. The paranormal or so called traditional perspective just seems to be reinforced by these serials. The writers seem to believe that their audience is so stupid that they will watch any nonsense that is fed in the name of entertainment.

We are in the 71st year of Independence, we have a young population who is educated, well-read, well-traveled and aspirational and yet our entertainment industry believes in promoting and propagating regressive thoughts. Let’s look at the reasons why I have come to this conclusion

Source- art.com

The writers of serials like these seem to think on the following lines

  1. These serials are mostly watched by women in the age-group of 30+
  2. These women are majorly from B-town or small towns and villages who have nothing much to do in the afternoons (when the repeats are showcased) and hence will lap up anything
  3. Older women love kitchen politics
  4. This is the perfect formula to get good TRP
  5. Women are meant to be god-fearing, tied to traditions and the epitome of sacrifice
  6. They can relate with scheming relatives and plots like those
  7. The audience is dumb and extremely ignorant about the variety of entertainment series offered by the world at large.

Source- the quint.com

I have some news for these writers

  1. Women in small towns and villages are working the whole day, be it in their business or fields or in their homes. They need some sensible entertainment and a sense of aspiration, they don’t need melodrama (There are more women working in rural and small town areas as compared to urban)
  2. The women in the age-group of 30+ were born in the 80’s They grew up on beautiful serials like Wagale Ki Duniya, Hum Paanch, Malgidi Days and the likes. They really don’t need these crappy plots
  3. Older women don’t love kitchen politics. They look for entertainment, freedom from the daily monotonous life
  4. Women are much more than the idealistic or negative women characters portrayed in Hindi television
  5. Do check out the regional channels and understand the serials that have become popular.
  6. The regional channels are going bold and exploring relevant, current topics. Something that a today’s woman can relate to.
  7. We don’t need to see larger than life houses and show-sha of money, we need to laugh at our heart’s content, feel inspired, and be aspirational.
  8. When any serial tried to do something other than kitchen politics, they have been lauded – be it Jhansi Rani or (Uncha Majha Jhoka – Marathi), Crime Partol or even the Kapil Sharma Show.

 

Do you agree with me? Do you believe that the serials mock our intelligence? Or do you just sit back, watch this senseless drama and laugh to your heart’s content? Would love to hear your views about this

 

Linking up with Shanaya Tales Chatty blogs.

India at 70 and what do I expect from India at 80?

India enters its 71st year of independence. We have gained a lot in these 70 years, however there is a lot more to be achieved. As a woman, born in Free India I still want a few things to change and a few replaced and as a mother I dream of a certain future for my children. This is a post about those wants and aspirations.

Manyavar did an ad of India- 70 not out and that quite sums up India’s journey of the past 70 years. I loved it.

But I also believe there is a lot more that needs to be done. I am a woman and a mother and I am drawing my list from my experiences and what I see around

What Freedom means to me as a Woman

  • Freedom for me means I can take a walk or go about my life fearlessly, be it morning or night.
  • Freedom for me means not being slotted as an ‘abala naari who always needs a ‘man’s’ help
  • I don’t want extra benefits like reservation for being a woman but I want equal opportunities and rights
  • As a woman, I want people to ask me about my dreams and my ambitions, and not about when I am planning to ‘settle down’
  • I want the freedom to be able to choose between being a SAHM, working mom, entrepreneur, part-time work or be content in being a homemaker and not be judged for my decisions.
  • Freedom from being portrayed in a certain image in our serials and the burden of carrying that out in the real world.
  • Freedom from being expected to do only certain kinds of jobs. Cooking, Cleaning, and Child-rearing need not be allotted to a woman by the society. It needs to be the duty of each partner irrespective of gender.
  • Freedom means being something more than ‘a hot piece of ass’, ‘a dumb maiden,’  or a ‘damsel in distress’
  • Freedom means not worrying if I would be able to get back to work after having a kid

Freedom to me as a mother and a woman in India

What Freedom means to me as a Mother

  • Freedom to happily welcome my baby in this world, be it a girl or a boy
  • Freedom to find the right balance between my family and my personal ambitions
  • Inclusive and supportive workplaces that respect Work-Life balance
  • Freedom of letting my children live their lives on their terms and not be bogged down with ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ or ‘Girls shouldn’t be doing this’
  • Freedom to inspire my children to dream big and achieve whatever they wish for in our country
  • Ensuring that my daughter knows ‘being fair skinned’ is not an achievement and finding a ‘fair wife’ is not the biggest accomplishment in life. Beauty should not be just skin deep.
  •  Respecting everyone and not-judging people based on their body type, skin type, kind of job they do or their educational qualifications. The most educated and wealthy may lack basic civic sense and the most illiterate might have a heart of gold. See good in others.
  • Respecting a hard-working person, irrespective of the kind of work he/she does. No work is big or small as long as it is being done with good intent and complete honesty.
  • Freedom from the fear of “Will my children’s career or educational prospects me hampered because of – caste, corruption, red-tapism or donations”

What are your dreams and aspirations for India after 80 years of Independence? Do share and add your ideas to those above.

Linking the post for #MondayMommyMoments #MMM and #MondayMusings

http://everydaygyaan.com/dear-old-world/

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Hardest part of Motherhood

Parenting is a tough job. It seriously is, and let nobody tell you otherwise. You are responsible for a life and every decision of yours will have direct or indirect repercussions on that tiny being. This itself should scare you, and rightly so, as only then will you be a good parent. Right from the time you conceive till the end of your life, you will face many challenges as a parent; they are different at every stage and nothing prepares you for it, but as the topic talks about hardest part of being a mother, I will stick to that. So what is the hardest part of being a mom? While I still have to experience a lot, I will touch upon the things that I have seen or experienced till date in my journey of being a mother.

Being a new mom-

Being a first-time mom was the hardest part of my parenting journey. No amount of books prepared me for what lay in store. Though it’s a wonderful feeling, it is an uphill task.Firstly, your sense of privacy is evaded with the whole delivery process then come the endless feed sessions, baby latching problems, sleepless days, all this and more leaves you exhausted. Add to it the post-partum depression, hormonal changes, the recovery time etc., you simply feel bogged down by everything. There was a point where I felt I made the biggest mistake of my life by deciding to have a baby. There is also the nervousness of messing something up which takes a toll on you. Those initial days were the hardest weeks with my newborn. The second time around I was better equipped and I also knew that though the first few weeks are hard, they do get over and a sense of normalcy will prevail.

Having to deal with the innocent age –

The odd age when the child is not old enough to understand everything and not young enough to be fooled is another hard time for a mother. For example – They understand the entertainment avenues and see the hep, pulsating songs and want to gyrate on it but as a mother and an adult, I also understand the double-meaning vulgar words that are being mouthed. How do you explain that to a child? The first innocent crush that the child experiences might not be seen as just that by others. The innocent urge to enact their favorite hero/heroines moves or acts might actually be vulgar, evading privacy or dangerous. How do you communicate that to the child without being harsh?

First crush

Being prepared and helping the children grown up –

This isn’t as simple as it sounds! Till the child is small you can enforce rules, monitor, and put some kind of regulation on what they watch, what influences them, who are they with etc. but after they are independent enough to make these decisions how to you safeguard their interests while not being seen as intrusive? It’s a tight rope to walk. The hardest part in this stage of parenting is watching. The new feelings that the children experience, right from their first crush to their heartbreak, the peer-pressure, the new world order, all this and more is what the child will want to be a part of and as a parent all we can do is watch and maybe hold an umbrella for them in the face of a storm.

These are some of the hardest things that I feel one has to deal while being a mother. I am sure there are much more. What are your thoughts? Have you faced any such problems or do you have a solution to offer? Would love to hear it

Linking this up with  #Mondaymommymoments or #MMM with Dr. Amrita and Deepa Gandhi

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Find out how this young law student is improving legal awareness in Maharashtra

What would you expect a fresh graduate to be like? Enjoying life, hanging out with friends, being optimistic right? Abhida Niphade is all that and much more. As a founder of Being Lawgical, and the youngest Global Youth Ambassador she has a lot going on in her life. This third-year law graduate, is a Global Youth Ambassador at ‘A World At School’ where Mala Yousafzai is also serving as Global Youth Ambassador. Abhida has worked with foundations like His Holiness Dalai Lama Foundation and Sahyog Trust-Humanistic Proactive Org.

Abhida Niphade, Global Youth Ambassador

How did you decide to take up law?

I come from a small town Shrirampur from the Ahmednagar district. With my rural background, I had seen a lot of oppression, poverty, illiteracy, and ignorance about the law. Having a girl child was considered a burden in my town. Fortunately, I was born and brought up in a very broad-minded family. Although I was a single child and a girl, I was never denied any opportunity by my parents. Later, for want of higher education, I traveled to Pune and nearby areas and this shaped my outlook towards society. I was a literature student when I came in touch with an NGO – ROSHNI and working with them, made me realize that empowering people with the knowledge of the law is the need of the hour.

What is Being Lawgical?

Being Lawgical is a non-profit organization working towards empowering people with the knowledge of the law. We work with the vulnerable and underprivileged to educate them about the various provisions of law. We want to convince people that law is not something created to harass them but to empower them. Being Lawgical believes that a good way to empower justice is to legally empower people to demand it. Currently, we are primarily working with women, downtrodden, underprivileged and disabled.

legal literacy session in progress

Abhida taking a legal literacy session

What does being a Global Youth Ambassador mean?

The title ‘Global Youth Ambassador’ at ‘A World at School’  has brought many opportunities with it. The appointment is for the duration of three years. The initiative is run by Sarah Brown and Gordon Brown, The UN special envoy for Global Education and former Prime Minister of UK. The main responsibility I earned is to mobilize young people to stand up for education and make their voices heard in their communities. I can organize local or national advocacy related events and campaigns. From the organization, I will receive all the support needed to mobilize others for acting like an access to the global campaigning toolkit and the support of a large network of like-minded young people from all over the world. I am getting an opportunity to work with great personalities such as Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai, renowned singer Shakira and many more like-minded people. Working with an international network is itself is a learning experience.

As the youth of India, how do you see a future aspirational India?

I think ‘youth’ is not a number but a feeling. Anyone with passion in their heart and a clear vision will contribute to an aspirational India. I believe in ‘Karma Siddhanta’ and believe that it is time for us to invoke that knowledge. Working with honesty and integrity for the goal will certainly bring results. We as a country have great potential and the youth are highly motivated. I believe we can achieve a lot if we are knowledgeable and educated in understanding our rights and duties – the law of the land.

Childhood Memories I am thankful for

I came across this prompt on Amrita and Deepa’s Thankful Thursday’s. I loved it the moment I read it but wasn’t getting around to put it down. That is when I read about #Tiniature on Twitter and decided to work on that with this theme.

Childhood Memories

In a way, I am thankful that my childhood memories do not include gadgets and expensive toys as it was through these memories that I discovered kindness and humanity.

There were no mobiles then, but still, somehow we managed to communicate and there was never a worried moment for my parents, caused by non-communication. We didn’t even have a landline for a long time and giving out a PP phone number was okay, but it came with a long list of do’s and don’ts. Interestingly, these lists did teach me to think from other’s perspective. There were no maps but we never got lost. We relied on the knowledge of helpful rickshaw drivers, the traffic policeman, and others.

I traveled alone to school right from my primary schooling days. Went in a public transport, but was never worried as I knew the streets were filled with guardian angels. I didn’t know about the evils of the society but have experienced numerous instances where these guardian angels came in and swooped me away from any possible harm. In most cases, these were strangers who considered a child as a collective responsibility. That was a time when people were watchful about their surroundings and weren’t lost in their mobile world.

It was a time when strangers didn’t think twice before questioning someone’s intent and if anybody questioned, ‘Why are you bothered?’ the instant reply was ‘Hamari beti hai’ Though the nosy neighbor was annoying, she would keep an eye if your child went out alone. The local grocer would be watchful till you turned into your lane if you came to buy something alone.

Those were the days when for every single evil there were a hundred angels. Today we have progressed a lot but the human connect seems missing. How I wish we could have a happy blend of both the world’s so that my children could enjoy an equally carefree childhood.

 

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Vacation and Homework

This is a series where I give a peek into my family – A gang of doers
I am a Digital Marketer who works from home and at any given point in time is oscillating between being a supermom and a train wreck. Hubby dear is a cool guy with a mean neatness streak! On any given day he would prefer keeping things organized and cleaning up instead of taking his kids to the park or mingling with people! Darling daughter is still undecided if she wants to be a Diva or a Dangal girl, and the result is that I am either keeping her accessories away from my brat or being a referee between her and my younger kiddo. The youngest in the family is my brat who has learned the art of deception quiet early and hence though he looks saintly, there is a manipulative side somewhere underneath. That’s me and my family.


vacation and homework

Vacation means fun for kids and melting point for mum

 

This is a major bone of contention between me and my DD. She believes in doing everything at the last-minute and me knowing, how those last minutes are, prefer getting it done before she gets on with her fun activities.

Me: Let’s get done with your summer homework before our yearly family vacation begins. We can get it done in 10 days

DD- But we still have 15 days before the vacation starts so I will do what I like for the next 5 days ( read watch TV and while away her time)

ME- It’s 10 days before vacation starts, let’s get done with your homework.

DD- Whips out the homework list from her closet and starts reading aloud. For number 1 and 2 you need to bring me x,y,z things. For 4 and 5 we need your laptop and internet. 6 and 7 are kinda boring and I am in no mood to do that now. 8 and 9 are story reading and I am done with that.

ME (gingerly)– Let’s start with number 3 and 10 then? That’s maths and you enjoy doing that.

DD– Keeps looking at the paper with squint eyes trying to make them disappear magically.

My DD when asked about homework

It’s 3 days before vacation and we are nowhere near homework completion

ME – (Voice raised) I want you to start taking the homework seriously and get it done. There is no TV time till then.

DD – (with innocent face and tears ready to spill out at the twitch of a nose) You just don’t want me to enjoy my holidays. None of my friend’s mom does this to them.

Husband – (Casually flipping between channels) Don’t get so worked up. She will do it later.

It’s 1 day before the vacation begins

ME –  Why can’t you get the homework done. You can then enjoy the rest of the vacation without any worries.

DD – (Looking at the page and then turning to me in a huff) It’s only because of you that I can’t finish things on time. Why didn’t you remind me earlier!

ME – (Rolling my eyes) I give up!

A doctor who is inspiring a town #HappyDoctor’sDay


Indian Bloggers

Recently I traveled to Sirsi, Karnataka via a road trip. A beautiful town strategically located near many local tourist attractions, it is a must-visit for all those looking for a relaxed vacation in nature’s lap.

When I was there, I met Dr. Ravikiran Patwardhan a third generation, Ayurvedic doctor. A simple dispensary and clinic as an extension of his house, it has been operational for nearly 100 years. I even toured their Botanical Garden that was created by his great-grandfather with Ayurvedic plants essential for making medicines. With the foresight of avoiding a shortfall of ingredients while making medicines, his great-grandfather established this garden. 

Donating blood for the with time

Today, Dr. Ravikiran Patwardhan is carrying forward the same legacy of helping his town with various schemes and ideas that he has implemented. When I visited his clinic, I saw a fat diary on the table. It was divided into various blood groups. Feeling curious I enquired about the same, to know that this is a community help blood donor list. Whenever someone is in need of blood, they come to him and register themselves as a future donor when called upon. They are then given at least 5 working contacts of the people from the blood group they want. The person requiring the blood can then contact these people and they come and donate blood. I found this idea extremely simple yet powerful. A kind of barter system which helps the society as a whole. This list has saved numerous lives, and a testimony of that can be seen in appreciation and feedback that he has received.

Another interesting idea that I saw was, a prescription which had all the emergency services and their numbers listed at the back. He explained that prescriptions are usually never thrown away by patients and hence having a list of emergency services at the back of it helps patients when they need it the most. This too is a powerful idea as the back of the prescription pad is usually wasted, and having these numbers there is the best utilization of space. Many sponsors too have come forward to bear the cost of printing in return for a small advertising space.

As I got talking with him, he explained that apart from this, a few doctors from the town have come together to donate blood and hold workshops. The workshop’s are held on various topics like de-addiction, drug abuse, home remedies and future planning.

This doctor’s day, a salute to such numerous souls who are going beyond their call of duty and  working towards betterment of society. #HappyDoctorsDay

Unlikely unwinding destinations


Indian Bloggers

The other day my daughter teased, “Hey Mom, now all of us will go out of the house in the morning, me and brother to school and dad to the office. You will be alone in the house.” While I muttered under my breath “You have no clue how desperately I have been waiting for this” Yup! With two kids your house is never quiet, especially as long as both are not in formal school. My younger one will start preschool this year and I have been so waiting for it. He in school will mean two hours of peace at home, well not exactly because I will be motoring through to finish chores and blog posts before he is back, but still it is better than not getting done anything in the whole day.

Unusual unwinding places

The Bathroom

If you are a mother of two, you know there is no peace or ‘me time’ anywhere in the house, except the bathroom. The bathroom is my hiding place when things are getting out of hand and I need a breather. When the going is good, I can actually think, maybe even read a book (at least a few pages) and check on my social media while in the bathroom. And then there are times when the moment I enter the bathroom one of them want something from the bathroom or have some questions that just can’t wait till I come out of the bathroom.

The Car

Another place is my car! I leave to pick the kids and take the longest possible route to have some ‘me time’ with music on. This helps me think, focus and even relax before the next rush hour starts. As it is with two kids, you are always running errands for one or the other, the best way to utilize that time is unwinding.

The Balcony

The balcony is another place where I like to unwind. When the kids are busy watching Television, I sneak in the balcony and do nothing. Just enjoy the fresh air, see the on-goings around and do absolutely nothing. So when I am really worked up, I turn on the kid’s channel (my kids won’t move an inch when that damn thing is turned on) and sneak out in the balcony. I know docs might not agree with TV time, but for my sanity, I need that break 😛
Do you have such unwinding places? What are those? I would love to be inspired.

😀


I am writing this post for #Barathon from Blogarhythm with the theme seven situations unique to a mother of two.

There is no dearth of Hugs and Kisses

Okay now, this is one mushy-mushy post! If you have two children, especially with one being a daughter, there is no dearth of kisses and hugs, seriously! My kids are always in a competition of who kisses and hugs the most. The beneficiary is ‘yours truly’ but at times it can have hilarious outcomes too.

Most of the times I enjoy those free, no frills attached hugs and kisses, however, there are times when they just go overboard. It usually starts with one hugging or kissing me, then suddenly the other one decides to outdo the other and gives double the hug or kiss, eventually making me beg them to stop!

Then there are times when the older one has hugged me and then she realizes that the younger one hasn’t so she murmurs into his ear that he should say ‘I love you Mama’ and hug me. The obedient sheep that my son is, he immediately sets about completing the task, only to realize that I am in the washroom. That’s when he will start calling out my name with urgency in his voice. I rush out only to find this guy leaning over the door and hugging me the moment I open the door.

At times my daughter has this urge of showing off in front of her friends. She doesn’t need a reason for it, it could be anything – something sent in the Tiffin, her project that I helped with or some class that I have allowed her to join. She will get out of the school bus and hug me saying ‘My mom did this and this, I love you momma’ and her friends will try and imitate her, thereby leading to a full blown hugging session at the bus stop, with all children hugging their mom’s.

The fun part is because my daughter has done this in front of my son, though she may outgrow it in a year or two, my son will probably continue it for some more time, thereby making me a very happy Mom!

Always ready with a hug or kiss

 

 

A house Spick and Span, What’s that?

My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The fifth situation is that your house is never beautiful


So you are proud of your housekeeping skills? Are your homes good enough to be on the cover page of Good Homes? Chances are you don’t have two children under eight! If you have two children at home, forget about having a spick and span house. I know there are people who have two children and still manage to have a beautiful house, personally, I just believe they are superhumans and one in a million. For mere mortals like me, it’s a herculean and never ending task.

Nothing in it’s place

When the children are at home, there is hardly anything that is in its place. Toys will be found everywhere except the toy storage. Playing or not, they have to be on the floor! The moment you pick them up, one of them will come looking for it. If not toys, then even the kitchen utensils will do! In the morning rush hour when the tiffins need to go on time, my younger one has the urge to get the whole kitchen down!

house will be unclean and messy

PC- Pixabay

Twin’s or Children with less age gap

If you don’t want to be in the eye of a raging storm, never tell a mom of twins or with less age gap that her house isn’t that clean. The poor woman can only manage so much. I have friends who just wish to get done with the day and hit the bed as all they ever do in the initial years is feed, put to bed, soothe a crying baby or clean. The kids just keep going in cycles and without help, it’s a daunting task. Hell, with just one kid at a time, I am so disheveled, my house help looks better than me!

Age gap of four or more

If the age gap is more, it’s still not a better story. By the time you have taught your older child to put things in place, the younger one is old enough to throw them around, so basically your house is a perpetual mess till both of them are at least seven years old and that my friend is a long time. Currently, building house with pillows has caught my younger one’s fancy, so all the pillows in the house are in the living room at any given point in time. Why the living room you ask? Because cushions from the sofa are fundamental in making a good cushion/pillow house. My pleas, begging, shouting, even an occasional whack as resulted in zero improvements and now I have made peace with a pillow land that I call my living room.

 

I am linking this post to #BarAThon 2017 hosted by BlogARhythm

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