Life of a referee

My theme is seven and the series is seven situations unique to a mother of two

The first situation that I am going to talk about today is being a referee


You must have heard that if there is a sister or a brother, you don’t need a friend and I have experienced the same first hand, so I can vouch for it, however, all this is true once the children are old enough to understand intense emotional feelings. Till then, for a mother, it’s a long career of being a referee or an umpire. The moment you become a mother, the second time you have to gear up for this position. It doesn’t matter if the kid 2 is only a baby and goes gaga, goo the whole day; there will be some obscure way by which your kid 1 is annoyed and you are summoned to ensure peace.

If the age difference isn’t much and they are either two girls or two boys, there is a different problem. Child 1 will automatically get territorial and there will be a verbal or non-verbal war about who owns Mumma! (read who gets the most attention) and somehow you end up doing a lot of explaining and cajoling of how the time and attention is being given equally to both. They won’t understand or accept however you will keep trying to avoid the house from falling around your ears.

A mother of two is more of a referee

If the age gap is enough where the older sibling is at an age where he can act responsibly, suddenly all the love and anticipation related to the arrival of child 2 will vanish and you will have to answer some weird questions, like “Who decided that I will get a baby brother?” “I don’t like this baby, please go and get it exchanged!” There won’t be open fights in such a scenario, but minor skirmish that you will know exactly who started but have no evidence to pinpoint! Yeah! Well, you even turn into a part detective, but more about it later. And if you try accusing one child of starting it, that child will sulk and other will blame you for hurting the sentiments!

So, you end up having a long career of being an umpire where your decisions are seen with suspicion, nobody is ever happy with you and somehow both believe that you favor the other as if this wasn’t a family but an India-Pakistan match!

Do you have two children? What have been your experiences?

I am writing this series and linking it up with Blogarhythm’s BARATHON 2nd edition

6 thoughts on “Life of a referee

  1. Namratha Varadharajan says:

    I am a soon-to-be referee:) Currently, a lot of my thoughts are also looming in the field of how different it is going to become a parent second time around and the new challenges and joys that is going to come along. That is one of the reasons my theme for the barathon skirts around the edges of parenting.
    Namratha Varadharajan recently posted…The Fault In Our Stares #BarAThonMy Profile

    • nehagpatwardhan says:

      Thanks Shalini for stopping by and happy to know that you could relate to it! I still get that knowing smile/smirk from my mum when I crib about my kiddos 😁

  2. Rajlakshmi says:

    My mom and dad are still referees though… Trying to pacify me and my siblings 😊 Seems like the kids never grow. I can imagine how witty and mindful parents have to be in these situations. But it would be fun to play detective and find the culprit though.

  3. Shilpa Garg says:

    My parents had this role of being referees and I know how challenging it is to keep the interests of both the warring kids intact. Thankfully, I am spared from this role. 🙂

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